Consideration is Finite

I recently had a conversation with a few people about being considerate of others.

Is it our moral duty to always be mindful of how our words and actions affect someone else?

The conversation eventually led to an interesting point.

The more insecure we are, the more considerate we seem to become.

When you're insecure, you're constantly thinking about how people feel about you. Did I say the wrong thing? Did I offend them? Do they hate me now? You become extremely aware of people's emotions because their reaction to you affects how you see yourself.

But is that really consideration?

Or is it fear wearing good manners?

As we become more confident, that fear starts to disappear. We become less concerned with how everyone sees us and more concerned with how we see ourselves.

There are obviously a million opinions on whether that's selfish, healthy, narcissistic, or freeing.

But to stay on brand, I'll give you “the worst” opinion.

Be considerate of your growth.

As we get older, we should be getting wiser. More mature. More capable. The people in your life who contribute to that growth deserve your consideration.

Be considerate of your improvement.

Learn new skills. Challenge old ideas. Become better at something. The people willing to teach you, correct you, and introduce you to worlds you didn't know existed deserve your consideration.

Be considerate of your desires.

This is the law of “The Worst.”

And this law trumps all.

At the end of it all, I believe the fulfillment of our deepest desires is what allows the soul to finally rest, whether in this life or whatever comes after it.

It is impossible to be considerate of everyone.

Try, and eventually consideration turns into resentment.

You will spend your life carefully measuring your words, shrinking your actions, and calculating how every decision might affect everyone around you.

Then one day you'll realize most people were never handling you with the same care.

And bitterness will grow in the space between the life you desired and the life you chose because you were afraid of making someone else uncomfortable.

Consideration is finite.

Give it to the people who help you grow.

Give it to the people who teach you.

Give it to the things that make you feel alive.

And above all, be considerate of the desires that have survived every version of you.

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